Sloppy Seconds (aka Reasons Not to Date Your Friend’s Ex)

Last weekend I was pleasantly surprised when an old girlfriend of mine called out of the blue.

The Cake Lady and I work together at my part time job, but since I started grad school and a second job we almost never see each other. We spent about an hour catching up and as girls do I asked her about how things was going with her boyfriend Kenny.

Kenny and the Cake Lady have dated on and off for like two years. They dated once and broke up, but still hang out all the time and sleep together but he never will officially say they’re dating. I was getting the scoop on their status just making conversation.

A couple of days later I get to work and the Cake Lady corners me. She asks me was I asking about Kenny because I was interested in him?

“What?” I said.

I was shocked. I’ve met the guy maybe twice and we barely spoke to each other. He’s not at all my type physically and based on the way he’s treated her not my personality type. I have to admit my feelings were hurt. I’m an admitted slut, lets keep it real. But I do have limits I’m not trying to take someone else’s man.

I assured her I never once had any thoughts about Kenny. I barely even remember what the guy looks like. I asked her was she asking this because of what happened with Darien. She admitted that she was.

Darien is the Cake Lady’s best friend and former boyfriend. I met Darien about two years ago when he briefly worked with me and the Cake Lady. A few months after he got fired, Darien found  me on a social networking site and started sending me flirty messages. I’d always thought he was really cute, but felt weird because he was the Cake Lady’s ex.

Darien I mutually decided not do anything until I was sure that the Cake Lady was okay with it. I called her and explained the situation. I told her we liked each other and wanted to see what happens, but would only do it if she was okay with it because my friendship with her meant more to me than him. She was totally fine with it. She said they dated like five years ago, she was dating Kenny and only saw Darien as a good friend.

Darien and I hung out for like two weeks before things fizzled out. It was amicable and we’re all still cool to this day. I was hurt that the Cake Lady brought this up as a reason she thought I might be after her “man.” Because she gave me and Darien her blessing, but was obviously bothered by it. So now the assumption is I’m a man-stealer, which I’m not.

The Cake Lady is a lot more reserved sexually than I am and I think that she assumes that means I lack discretion in who I will try to date. Just because a woman is sexually liberated does not mean she’s trying to take your man. It also doesn’t mean that she’ll sleep with anyone. I’m very picky and I don’t appreciate that.

What do you all think? Am I wrong or is the Cake Lady?

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